July/August 2025

The end, I think, will be a little like looking down as far as I can see to where the wind has kicked up the tide and turned it all the same—sea, spume, the air. There might even be someone walking toward me, the way in the edge-of-the-ocean blue light they’ll be obscure until the last moment. I think it’ll be late afternoon, the…

said short: i feel more like a stud. said
with some nuance: as if i came to
masculinity through the women’s gate,
as if a daughter who grew into her father
but not like trans, but like trans or
a transformation without catalyst
or smoke. or more like born
in the right body too early or born
at the wrong time, in the wrong language.
i remember…

The caregiver calls to tell me about mother,
but I know she hasn’t slept. The security videos
of her restless night populate my email’s inbox.

She turned and turned throughout the dark hours.
I’m 1,600 miles away and helpless. In need of divine
power, I decide to sing for an audience of one.

As I begin, I hear mother trying to follow,…